There is a time when there is resistance to feedback. The tendency is to defend myself, to justify my actions, to explain the circumstances that lead to the particular 'less than perfect' behaviour.
This phase is that of 'self-protection'. There is an undergrowth of pain that comes with ego. And its not easy to uproot. Anything that threatens the ego is looked at with fear and/or resentment.
In this phase, love takes the form of possessiveness. Actions are forceful rather than mature and dignified. 'Service' in this mode is pushy and imposing .Or it could be callous -'Take it or leave it - It's your funeral' instead of humbly offering to benefit the other while respecting the other's choice. The diversity of views that souls have at this point in time is incredible.
Once the soul parts with ego, there is freedom. There is self respect. There is fearlessness. There is strength. There is willingness to change and to improve. There is love and appreciation for other views. There is love for Truth rather than 'false politeness'. There is confidence on one's own unshakeable foundation. There is trust in God and in one's own fortune.
Fresh, frank and forthright feedback is eagerly sought and gratefully welcomed as an opportunity to relook at the self and improve in every way possible.
On the path to egolessness, the initial phase is to build on one's own strengths. This builds self-confidence and boosts self-esteem. Any look at weaknesses is debilitating. The next phase is to uproot weaknesses and shortcomings so that the original purity of the self can radiate in all directions. Focus on strengths at this stage is an invitation to ego and/or complacence. The next phase is that of sublimation where there is gratitude to God for everything. Everything is easy and natural - for it is God who is at the helm. This is the final stage. The post-final stage is the constant awareness of one's natural beauty... this is a natural stage that carries forward beyond the end of time...
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