Past is past

Thick dark clouds.
Thunder and lightning.
Struggling to win.
Giving up.
Silence.
Quiet.
Gentle review of life.
Strange sense of contentment.

I have put in my best. I have been sincere. I have passed many times and yet failed many times. There has been tremendous progress. This life has rendered useful service. Could it have been better? Not really... not for me...even though in the past, in my heart idealism has reigned constantly and the gap between errant reality and the constant ideal has caused much angst.

Today, I am contented. I give myself the certificate of contentment. I feel that my lokik and alokik families would also give me the certificate as of today. That this one has been sincere and well meaning... and has been a good family member. They will note that I am far from perfect, perhaps with many areas where I could have been better and done better... but they will say that he has been a good individual...sincere and well meaning. Would God give me the certificate of contentment? For honesty, yes. For the homework, no.

If I die today, this life would not have been in vain.

What would the future be like if I die today? Would there be remorse that my role has thus been fixed in a sub-optimal manner? No. I think there would not be any remorse. I accept my part with its pluses and minuses, the efforts put in were sincere and I did get sidetracked each time and well, I have the corresponding results. It is all fine. All ok.

So as on today, all of the past is ok and put firmly in the past.

Tomorrow is a fresh start. A new opportunity. A new life. I offer it to God to fashion it as he pleases.