Key Takeaways

Bhatti (Meditation Intensive) at Madhuban! What a beautiful time together! Everyone seemed to have taken a personalised set of attainments. Here are some inspirations I take on with me:

1. Keeping Baba as my constant companion... intimate connection.
2. Complete handover of the day, at the end of the day... from child to father
3. Check and maintain state of self respect throughout
4. Don't focus on or describe weak thoughts. Instead, move onto more valuable thoughts.
5. Victory is guaranteed.

Late one night, I had the experience of being the four armed one... a spinner of the discus of self realization, destroyer of bondages, living a lotus like life and blowing the conch with a sound of silence that reverberates in all of the three worlds (physical, subtle and the sweet silence home)...

Heart to Heart from the Hearth

Loving greetings from sweet sweet home Madhuban.

There is a Kumars bhatti (meditation intensive) going on here right now with some 6000 brothers participating from all over Bharat. Bhattis are very often transformational. There are moments of discomfort when there are some deep realizations and then there are liberating, uplifting moments where Baba makes the soul fly beyond.

I went through some intense transformational moments yesterday. There came a period that was so uplifting, that at the end of it I had a moment that was by far the greatest (so far) in terms of pure good wishes for every soul in the world. I felt connected to every soul in the world and had this loving feeling - ' I wish you were here to experience this'.

Late in the evening, I had the opportunity of a long conversation with one of the Dadis. I had shared the recent case study of experiences with her over email.Yesterday we met for some service and she brought up the topic and shared some insights. The way she shared (in essence below) was also an art.

First she verified that the situation that I had described was indeed over and that I was happily making intense efforts now. Then she said:

1. It is good that you felt inclined to share your experiences to caution others. I understand your intent.
2. It is not useful to share much about negative experiences. There are several aspects in play here.
   1. You are putting your thoughts into karma(action) and the effect becomes stronger.
   2. Others may decide to take things casually - 'Oh, that one also had challenges, so what's the big deal if I have some'
   3. People see things differently and may not understand your intent
   4. Some may gain and maintain a negative vision for you long after you have moved on   
   5. Other 'complications' can arise.
3. Keep such sharings very essenceful when you feel that you must share and that others will take benefit. Brahma Baba was open and also used to talk about storms but was always essenceful.
4. In case you do encounter any challenging thoughts in the future, do not describe them. Move onto more useful thoughts.

Dadi then shared several experiences from the service field and from her current activities. While the details are a bit personal to her, the essence was an example of loving good wishes as well as deep respect.

Today morning, one our brothers (also in our mailing group) took me aside gently and lovingly said, you know, I feel its good to share points, but not about your shortcomings. Share them with Baba or with Dadis. I thanked him and shared about Dadi's comments from yesterday. He said, aha, my line is clear!

So, there it is - some general guidelines for your consideration. Hope this is useful.

Yesterday was a day full of insights. I was lost in Baba's love and there was a big clearing happening within. And I saw so much beauty and benefit through all the experiences I have been having. The silent witness stage is powerful indeed and has been very handy in the previous episode. I've been learning soooooooo much over the last few days - it's wonderful!

Achcha. With lots of love and good wishes...

Humbled, Honoured and Inspired

What can I say... I am humbled, honoured and inspired by the love and wisdom I read in all the mails sent in public and private.

How much nobility... how much humility... how much transparency... So much love. Each mail shows the beauty of character of the sender. And of course the silent family members who send sweet good wishes. Need I add that each murli reveals so many more aspects of the ocean of love? I am grateful to Baba and my beautiful part in this sweet drama to be with all of you.

Integrity asked me to share the below mail to our senior instruments especially with whom I am engaged actively in service. In one case, I am also participating in forming a group that follow the highest code of conduct (maryada purushottam). The irony is not lost on me. But honesty keeps the soul light and easy.

I had not shared any details of the extent of the grossness of Maya because it seemed unnecessary. It is possible that other souls could consider it to be at a different level than it is... and I leave it to sweet drama. The mail was with the intent of having shared learning within the family and am inspired to see the beautiful responses.

When a karmic account is settled and the veil is lifted, it seems like a thing of the past, completely unconnected. Today Baba was speaking about crying. I remembered a time a few years back when after some discussion with the lokik family I wept and tears flowed profusely. I was taken aback because I was not feeling any sorrow and in fact there was no problem to have initiated this spate of tears. I watched on as I wept and my lokik parents were wondering what happened as it was very unlike my usual behaviour. After a few minutes it was all over but it was very strange. A few days later I read an avyakt murli where Baba said that when you cry as part of the drama and karmic settlement but do not feel any sorrow, you are playing the part of a hero actor. I was amazed.

In another murli Baba said that dark clouds of Maya will come and go, but the sun shines on. In my case, the sun did get affected but continued to shine. As of now, some of the dark clouds have cleared and the clear beams of sunshine are visible from between the dark clouds.

I have learnt many lessons from this beautiful episode but one special personal learning is that being detached from the role keeps me free from suffering. Yesterday was Rakhi and Baba showered me with love and yesterday amritvela onwards we are back in each other's sweet loving company.

A Case Study

I'm currently going through some experiences that's a good case study on Maya's modus operandi (way of functioning). Perhaps you may relate with your experiences or be aware of what might come your way too.

A couple of weeks ago, my spiritual efforts were at an all time high and my stage was flying higher than ever. Everything seemed effortless and beautiful. Baba's love kept me full of boundless energy. Complex problem situations that had my colleagues in despair became very easy to transform into delightful experiences for all. Finally that elusive goal of sustainable high stage looked within reach. And I took a valiant step of courage - Baba, I will finally fulfill my promises and get to the final goal. I fixed a date, set the goal, charted the plan and then was fully mentally prepared for moving forward no matter what.

In a remarkable turn of events, within a few hours, massive storms with giant tidal waves of negative thoughts came lashing in. Negativity rapidly advanced from thoughts into words and actions. I was strangely unmoved. Thoughts came in from all directions in all kinds of ways. All the vices were visibly and strongly present. Lust, anger, greed, ego, attachment, jealousy, tiredness, physical pain, stress, fear, distractions, time wasters... some challenges I had not encountered in spiritual life so far started appearing... and each area where I had failed several times before came up very powerfully and I failed yet again. But, I just did not feel bad at all. I continued on as though nothing had happened. When I was called upon for service, everything would subside and the stage would be beautiful and loving until the service was completed and then the issues would come right back. Fascinating.

I was failing but I did not feel bad about it. Then the next level of attack. At amritvela, I would be thinking and planning. No conversations with Baba, no deep stage of yoga... and very soon no yoga at all. Not even good morning. I would get up on time, sit in Baba's room and then just think what I wanted to think. I noticed what's going on but felt very unconnected. Having yoga seemed very unnatural. I was peaceful, even cheerful. The stage was ok and yoga seemed artificial. 'Aha, I'm back into atheism!', I thought. And then continued on with my thoughts. During murli, my thoughts would tune in and out. I was multi-tasking. 'Oh yes, that's true', i would think in response to a point and then go on into my own reverie of planning and thinking... and then catch the next point that was coming along. 'I know all this stuff', I would think... 'Aha, this is maya! I know, I know and that's fine...'

While having food, I would give drishti without any feelings and then eat on without any yoga at all. I would maintain all the maryadas without actually following any in principle. But I did not feel I was being a hypocrite or that I should stop following these maryadas. It all just felt OK. Somewhat like brushing teeth or taking a shower. Nice, useful and on autopilot. In fact after some particularly nasty negative thoughts, I loved taking extra time washing other's plates and getting rid of the garbage and cleaning up the whole area etc. It felt very nice and accurate to be doing karmayoga... actually karma with loving values but no yoga with God.

I was observing how my spiritual efforts had completely disappeared. I was close to Baba without any love. I felt he was just nearby but I did not want to have a chat. I was at peace. The negative and waste seemed to belong to another person, unconnected to me. And love for Baba seemed unnecessary. [What a funny way of looking at it!]. I was continuing to do well. The stage was in control when I wanted it to be in control. And I would let the horses loose. The senses would run amok in all directions. Sight, sounds, smell, taste and touch were all hyper activated and excited. The world became very alive in an iron aged way. And I went through this new change with some stress but no regret. The whole body would get tensed up as though I was making a big mistake and then I would pay attention and relax and get free from the stress. I was using gyan to be Ok with what is considered not OK.

I noticed that Baba never let go - he would bring in beautiful relevant points in the murlis and I would nod in appreciation and say that's right, thanks you are so considerate... and then go on doing precisely what i wanted to do and very unconnected to gyan. And then it had to happen. The murlis became focused on other points and the gross storms all subsided as well. The stage became very peaceful and happy. The dreams were full of service and beautiful self efforts but my day time had no conscious attempts to serve and to improve in efforts.

Yesterday in the in flight entertainment programme I saw what was called the 'world's funniest videos'. The first one showed a little boy slowly climbing up a snow clad mountain slope trying to reach his father who was waiting for him a few meters above. As the little boy nearly reached the father's outstretched hands, he slipped, fell and slithered all the way to where he had started. The father kept watching on but the focus was on the child. This is not my idea of a funny video at all, but suddenly I can see the beauty and the joke and the irony of it all. It's all about me. The next video had a little boy sitting next to his mother on a bench and as she gets up, he slides off the bench and falls on his back. Very funny. Hmmm.

Today at amritvela and at murli, I was fully disconnected and aware. Today morning was a particularly powerful dream of service programme for executives atop the 100th floor of a building. We [I don't recall the companions] were discussing deep aspects of gyan as we were going up the lift when I woke up. As I sat at amritvela, I felt like a person who had not spoken to his spouse for a long while and somehow did not seem interested in having a conversation. I was wide awake and thinking about this strange life.

So that's where I am at. I feel at peace. Very clear about what's going on and yet not making any efforts at the moment. I thought I should share this experience with you. I feel fully lovingly connected with everyone and also totally disconnected with everyone. There is a witness within which is doing the action.

What are the next steps? I'll spend some time in long loving conversation with myself as I usually do after a bad brawl with Maya. Difference is, usually my stage is pretty bad after 'failure' but this time I feel very comfortable with everything. Denial? Not really. Acceptance? Maybe, but of a strange kind. Something I would not normally find acceptable.

So, yes, some solitude and then maybe I'll say hello and have a chat with my father, teacher and satguru. He is the Ocean of patience. He outlasts me completely. I have so much natural, intellectual love for him right now... [but none from the heart as it just doesn't seem to be relevant]

And oh yes, I do not look forward to any advice at this point of time. The murlis suffice. [What a rude soul and ooh what ego!!!] Please do send your loveful blessings and good wishes - they are always welcome and would be very handy now. Thank you from the heart for being part of my journey. I offer these strange experiences with love... as a co-traveller. Hope they are useful for you in some way academic or practical.

--
Everything is accurate. Everything is all right. Everything is beneficial. Yes, even when it does not seem like it.