Excellent feedback given by a senior. Direct, loving, caring, yet concerned about the changed behaviour.
Reason? Lack of time to communicate unavailability. Too many service initiatives, many broken commitments...this is busier than any professional setup. And yet no time for what the sabbatical was meant for. Hmm..
Took the feedback very well. Accepted, apologised. Expressed helplessness on inability to handle things better...especially when the heart wants to serve and somehow believes that by some magic every bit of service can be done in each service wing.
Causing trouble (by broken commitments) and extra thoughts is not service. This is not the intended result of signing up to serve.
The strange thing is the result of the whole episode. A return apology from this noble soul who felt bad on having given the reprimand...and some comments on why 'i am needed' in that particular form of service.
'You have spoilt everyone' by being dedicated in doing what you do...and being taken for granted when available is inevitable. Must learn to say no firmly to whatever is 'required' without consideration to current commitments.
Another senior had an interesting perspective. Set strictly firm timings for self progress. During other times be available for service of any type.
Today for the first time, saw true detachment from each form of service. There was no excitement, no eagerness any more... no more getting lost in the details. It was action that was sincere, dedicated and yet detached and able to switch off quickly.
Another nice test was when 'my time' was being 'wasted' by making me wait while some 'unimportant' work was going on. After a few moments, seized the lottery of using this idle time wisely in churning.
Hmm... some signs of progress.
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