Saturday, February 21, 2009

The Report Card

I had taken a six month sabbatical (break from work - if you prefer that) for some spiritual research, writing, self development and service. It got extended by over a month and today at Amritvela I was reviewing my report card. Here are some learnings:

Summary

  1. Very enriching and worthwhile experience
  2. Lots of profound experiences
  3. Distractions galore and maya too
  4. Did not complete even one key goal to satisfaction
  5. Excellent results in unforeseen areas
Some Details
  1. Very enriching and worthwhile experience
    The biggest takeaway is that it is easy and invaluable to create time for myself and do that which is close to my heart. I owe it to myself to live a life by choice rather than through canned/standard responses.

    The key driver for the sabbatical was one exploratory question - God is here and we are together... what am I doing with my life?

    I feel Baba provided me deep experiential answers to that question and to have this personal space in time just to be available and listening was worthwhile.

  2. Lots of profound experiences
    I have shed the most loveful pearls as tears, 'world changing' moments that radiated power to the whole world, vivid clarity of purpose and vision of future, absolute unconditional equanimity (brief spells), joy beyond belief...experiences that were deeper, longer and more widespread than ever before in this brahmin life

  3. Distractions galore and maya too
    Service and the love of contribution kept me sidetracked almost all the time. Opportunities would come that I could not say no to... and as it is, I am poor at saying no to service opportunities (I still feel it is by choice than compulsion). I said no to service more times than ever before and had plenty of chance to peacefully listen to complaints in that regard.

    At the end of the sabbatical I find that in spite of having got great advice from many yogi and gyani souls, I did not make enough time for yoga, knowledge or dharana. Service just took over.

    Maya is illusion. And all said and done, it was the overall winner. Don't even ask. But i'll share some key things as it may be useful. Was soundly beaten several times especially by lust and ego. Maya's strategy (for me) seems to be as follows: a. Useful opportunity for service arrives. b. Get engrossed. c. Forget key purusharth goals. d. Attacked when distracted. e. While writing chart (sheepishly) - huh? f.Next day at Amritvela - Baba...I am really really sorry...

  4. Did not complete even one key goal to satisfaction

    Two unfinished books, One unfinished spiritual research project, Many unfulfilled gigantic promises regarding stage, not even one day of quality yoga over 8 hours/day...

    Many many reasons, all seeming genuine... all surrendered to this, that or the other important or urgent or just 'one of a kind' type of service that needs to be done right now...

  5. Excellent results in unforeseen areas
    Surrendered intellect (some say indecisiveness, procrastination and unwarranted external dependence) and 'go with the flow' approach went very well. Equipoise and grace in chaotic circumstances, Love and unbelievable blessings from family, exposure to many many events, people, qualities, viewpoints, insights...

    It was far better than I could have planned for...
So there it is... the report card. The sabbatical is officially over... and in a sense it will never get over in this life for it has changed my life and outlook fundamentally.

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